February 2012
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Tada.
Me: You're making me sad!
Patricia: I can tell by the smile on your face.
Me: Shut up!
Patricia: No you shut up!
Me: No you shut up!
Patricia: Make a video!
Me: No!
Patricia: Whore.
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January 2012
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“I can’t explain what I mean. And even if I could, I’m not sure I’d feel like it.”
– J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye
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Me: I need to take a shower. Then we can take pictures on my webcam!
Patricia: While you're in the shower?
Me: -_________-
Patricia: Is that a yes?
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Dear tumblr,
Please be prepared. Due to the fact that we are extra funny today, almost everything that Patricia and I say will be posted. ENJOY.
Sincerely, Me.
Me: “READ IT BITCH.” Patricia: “LIKE MY SHIT.”
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Patricia & I. (Again)
Me: Hey! [Breaking Dawn Part 1] comes out on February 11th!
Patricia: Hey, that's the day my grandma died.
Me: ..............Way to make that depressing.
Later on...
Me: I feel like we're going to hell for laughing at something like that.
Patricia: *hands in the air* HEY I LOVE MY GRANDMA, I REALLY DO.
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Patricia & I.
Patricia: Smell this.
Me: It smells like old people.
Patricia: .......Maybe I like the smell of old people.
Me: *straight face* ......I have nothing to say to that......
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Sleepy time.
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It never fails.
Whether it’s in the morning or in the evening, I always manage to look at the clock at 10:24. Always.
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Anonymous asked: still single?
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“Starved for affection, terrified of abandonment, I began to wonder if sex was...”
– Douglas Coupland, Generation X (via hateshiploveship)
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He's inside!
He’s laying on the bed I made for him. :)
Okay, I’m done talking about my dog.
For now.
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“I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every...”
– Lemony Snicket (via loveyourchaos)
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Peetrie.
My dog has hip problems. He has hurt his hips once before, but this time is worse. He’s been sitting in the garage all alone for a couple hours. He won’t come inside. He won’t move. All he does is whine and cry. I have tried everything; he just won’t come inside. Call me a wimp, but it’s breaking my heart to see my little doggie suffer this much.
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Downfall to being up at this time.
My dashboard is dead. Sad day.
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You are the cockiest little shit I have ever met.
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Oh, Patricia.
Patricia: “I was creepin’ on him all day yesterday. I made a screensaver.”
Me: “Yup, I’m going to post that.”
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chance-at-bliss:
You can’t count on others. They always leave. You have to be strong for yourself. No matter how hard, you have to try. Because if you do try, the results will be amazing.
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It’s too quiet in my house.
nostringsattached-xo:
No female ever wants to be called a ”bitch” but once you put ”bad” in front if it, these hoes feel honored.
THIS.
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“You’re going to come across people in your life who will say all the right words...”
– The Rescue by Nicholas Sparks
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“Where does a story truly begin? In life, there are seldom clear-cut beginnings,...”
– Nicholas Sparks; A Bend in the Road (via ohnogino)
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I have had a splinter in finger since last...
It’s in my pointer finger on my right hand. I would appreciate it if it just jumped out of my finger because it hurts really bad.
Scraping my knee on the ground, no big deal. Cutting my hand while chopping onions, not a problem. Getting a splinter while dusting my bookcase, AMPUTATE MY FINGER.
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Conversation between me and my parents.
I was laying down in my bed, about to grab my book when I found my gift card I was looking for.
Me (to my parents who are laying down across the hall): “Hey! I found my Target gift card!”
My mom: “Where was it?”
Me: “On my nightstand.”
My mom: “Dork ass.”
My dad: “Hey, where is that gift card to?”
Me: “Gee, I...
