Don’t talk to me because you’re “bored”. I’m not here to entertain you. And don’t come to me only when you need a favor. I don’t like being used. Just don’t get the fuck away cause i’m not going to be your last resort. I want someone to talk to me because they sincerely want to.
01. I have made bad decisions. 02. Having my neck kissed is my weakness. 03.My pets are important to me. 04. I love having my picture taken. 05. I like Diet Coke. 06. I am the oldest kid in my family. 07. I’ve experienced true boredom. 08. I feel mature and wise, and still young at heart! 09. I am good at helping people. 10. I hate TV. 11. I am sarcastic. 12. I wish nobody hurt anymore. 13. I half-listen to people sometimes when I should listen fully. 14. My friends are really weird! 15. I have a huge bedroom. 16. I’m not a member of the mile-high club. 17. I try to be a person of balance, but occasionally (or frequently) have extremes. 18. I have a lot to learn. 19. I hate how FOD makes the damn double-space. 20. I’m not tone deaf. 21. I love music. 22. Computers don’t like me. 23. I like to talk to random people. 24. I have little patience for small children. 25. I am not an attention whore. 26. I can be mean when I want to be. 27. I pretend to care sometimes. 28. I want to go to college. 29. I am intrigued by humanity at large. 30. I think Japanese people are strange as hell. 31. Everyone should be exposed to love at one time in their life. 32. I believe all children should learn more than one language. 33. My cat is spoiled. 34. I am a spoiled little girl. 35. I wish we had more 2-hour-delays. 36. I love being organized, but am not. 37. Suicide is stupid. 38. I wish I exercised more. 39. I remember useless trivia. 40. I try to find something positive in every situation, although I am not always successful in doing so. 41. People like me. 42. I love to talk. 43. I love to write. 44. I think literature is a beautiful thing. 45. I like vegetables. 46. I dance like a black girl. 47. I type with my fingers on the wrong keys. 48. I am an awesome cook. 49. My hair is reddish-brown. 50. I’ve owned and lived in the same house for over 10 years. 51. I’m incredibly sexy. 52. I love to get socks for Christmas. 53. I’m a fancy kid! 54. I hate when people whine. 55. I can’t drive yet. 56. I prefer to be in nature alone. 57. I love being outside. 58. I love most all animals. 59. I want a tattoo. 60. I love gatherings of friends. 61. I love stuffed animals and can never get enough! 62. I don’t work hard enough in school. 63. I can never have too many toys. 64. I can be emotional. 65. I want to punch someone really hard in the face. 66. I’m generally low-maintenance, I just need lots of snuggling and love. 67. I need a job. 68. I dream a lot. 69. I am not a slut. 70. I love my friends. 71. I have a boyfriend. 72. I’m a leader and not a follower. 73. I write poetry that sucks. 74. I’ve been caught with no toilet paper in the bathroom. 75. I am very infantile at times. 76. I have no problem using public restrooms. Its the ones at the park and the beach (portapotty) that scare me. 77. I babble. 78. I educate the ignorant. 79. I trust people too easily. 80. I’m an organ donor. 81. I’ve never seen Oingo Boingo in concert. 82. I like cheetos. 83. I don’t like getting in fights. 84. I can be bitchy. 85. I HATE SCI-FI. 86. I don’t mind the telephone all the time. 87. I want to travel more. 88. Bookshops are pretty cool. 89. I’m pretty friendly. 90. I can be cold. 91. Sometimes I feel like I’ve failed my friends. 92. When my eye starts twitching, run for your life. 93. I want some sharks with fricking laser beams attached to their heads. 94. My dream is to be truly happy. 95. The materialism of Christmas pisses me off. 96. I think people should learn to live more simply. 97. I spend my life making pipe dreams and building castles in the air. 98. I am a very weird person. 99. I am getting extremely tired of school. 100. I hate the way people treat each other.
Sometimes I wonder why I let myself be afraid of everything. Too afraid to speak my mind, too afraid to trust someone, too afraid to let people in. I can’t do anything without thinking about what my consequences will be. I know I say I don’t care what people think about me, but sometimes I do. I guess it depends on what you say about me. If you tell me you don’t like me, yeah I’ll feel bad for like a second but then I will just forget you even told me. But when someone makes fun of my apperance or tells me I’m ugly, it really hits home. I’m so self-conscience it’s ridiculous. I can’t do anything without thinking who is watching me, or who is saying something about what I am doing. I really wish that I had a little bit of confidence. I really don’t have any self-esteem. I guess I’m just disappointed in myself because I don’t know how to do things for myself. Everytime I get the opportunity to do something for me, I pass that opportunity right up. The main thing I’m so irritated at myself is, I am so afraid of committment and being in love. I guess it’s because I’ve never been in a good relationship. Maybe it’s because I rush into relationships too fast, or maybe it’s because I’m a shitty girlfriend. I am so afraid of being hurt that I shun every guy that looks in my direction or gives me compliments. I am so confused and disappointed in myself. I really don’t know what to do with myself. Maybe I’m just thinking too much about things. Oh well, that’s what I do, I think way too much. i just hope that I learn to not be afraid of love or committment. I really don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life.